Gen Z Women are Now Afraid of Motherhood and Marriage – By Joanelle Prescod

Gen Z Women are now afraid of motherhood and marriage; there I said it. And statistically it has been proven time and time again. Projections are suggesting an overall contraction in the world’s population by 2050. We are in a loneliness crisis amongst both genders; with the pandemic of 2020 having a major toll on younger Gen Zer’s especially – and as one who was 21 in 2020; I must admit it truly was a traumatizing period for many of us.

I can only imagine attending school for the first time during a time period such as that, social skills have been lost, and this is simply a fact. We are a generation that is generally lonelier – far more anxious and much more guarded.

Frankly our big brothers and sisters (Millennials) are somehow shaping up, to be the last generation that truly felt – well somewhat normal. The world is in a crisis, unemployment is high – rent swallows your whole paycheck; and young men and women are terrified to be close to each other.

Yes, believe it or not Gen Z is having much less sex than the Boomers did – and most of us are single or in some kind of situationship. But is this a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Is it simply life – or is it a sign of much deeper issues.

Let’s break it down a bit further; statistics do tell a story – but I believe lived experience can at times tell it even better. When, I communicate with many of my female peers, there is one thing that shows up consistently and that is – fear.

A fear that if we carry the unequal burden of motherhood, the infrastructure that allows a man to “just be a man” will not be able to provide us with any real recourse outside of the pressure and strain that we watched our mothers endure. Women especially black women have been bullied for years by a society that never seemed to anticipate us rising up in a new way and en mass – rejecting the norms.

Being real, I still hope for a husband someday – and yes being even more real; for a woman like me having partnership in such a way (with the right man) can provide a level of stability that I might not be able to access on my own. I do not hate men, in fact in my lived experience; men have often been my most consistent saviour and in the most ironic contradiction, my first abusers.

I suspect there are more ladies out there like me, who would love to be a fierce “baddie”; but frankly can’t. Or perhaps we find a level of emptiness within that infrastructure as well – a weariness in the midst of the extremes, and if we are keeping it all the way honest. I also suspect that our men are just as confused.

It is not surprising then to hear me say that I appreciate the stay – at – home mommies (who work from home ), I yearn for a baby; oh yes. I do . And yes, I know all the risks – and yes, I know all the potential issues. And yet, the traditional woman in me still wants a baby – oo and a husband please; common law or traditional marriage. I know, I know – hold back your rotten fruits; don’t lick me off my soapbox just yet. Ladies this is a safe space – I won’t call you a bird for wanting a man; nor will I judge you for releasing the little girl in you that wanted a family.

There is a nuance to the conversation of declining birth rates and the “loss of the family”. We are a generation that refuses to be fake, to hold things together just for the kids; we are a generation that consistently holds the prior generations (Millennials and Gen X) to the flames. But can we all grieve together in the moment and admit; that if this world did not feel so scary – we too would have more babies?

Can we admit that the loss of the village, terrifies us? And we stand paralyzed in fear, not wanting to cause more damage to a new generation. Motherhood was sold to us in a fairytale yes, this is true – and yes that was wrong. Knowing how much the female body truly gives to produce life is terrifying. And I must say – I am glad that I live in the generation which is free to choose.

However, ladies – especially black ladies; that freedom of choice should also include support for our stay-at-home mummies. It should also be solidarity for our disabled and chronically ill sisters; it should not equate to a new kind of pressure. Our “safe spaces” are not safe, not if they remain so filled with spite and excessive competition amongst each other. True feminism is the right to live as a woman, in the ways that we so chose.

Men, yes you – you guys also must get it together, many of us complain of major relationship gaps; in maturity and competence. We can’t feel comfortable enough to bear your off-spring if we don’t feel like we can truly trust you.

Gen Z is hurting, and it will take more than halfhearted initiatives to address our deeply imbedded pains and needs. There is work we must do – and also work that the prior generations must do; if we truly want to have a world that is not so individualistic and against bonding and building families.

We all need a big communal hug; and maybe then the deeper healing can really commence.