The Underestimated Beauty of Platonic Love Between Men and Women – By Joanelle Prescod

It was a combination of life experience and observation that allowed me to come to this conclusion:

 

Male and female friendships do not necessarily have to be all about sex.

 

And I know that may sound controversial to some people. I will even add another taboo to the conversation. I believe that even after sexual activity has gone out of the picture, exes can still be friends.

 

I say that as someone who has been able to be great friends with former partners and actually find support, love and a lot of self-reflection through those connections.

 

As a person who has lived around women and men, I have found that men are capable of being friends. Men are capable of providing support.

Men are indeed capable of providing a level of connection.

 

Now, I am not saying it is the same kind of connection that women provide. It probably is not. But it is a necessary kind of connection. It gives the other side. It gives the other perspective. As a woman, I have found that there is value in hearing that perspective.

 

I think it only becomes dangerous when we begin to believe that every man in our life is out to get us or out to attack us.

 

Now, there are many reasons why women are afraid of being close to men. There are many reasons why we think we cannot be friends. Those reasons deserve to be acknowledged. But I also think we need to ask ourselves where those beliefs came from.

 

Sometimes I like to take it back to primary school and secondary school. Back then, gender and the constructs of gender were not necessarily that limiting when it came to friendship. When I was younger, I had a group of friends. Some of them were male and some of them were female. That was normal. I had not yet entered a world where my gender determined that I should only have a pack of female friends. Or where having too many male friends might say something about my character.

 

Somewhere along the way, we started placing limits on connection.

 

And yet we are living in a loneliness epidemic.

 

Men are lonely.

Women are lonely.

People are lonely.

 

We are also living in a society where life is becoming increasingly difficult. Housing is expensive. People are having fewer children. Many of us are interacting with people in ways we never expected.

 

The reality is that we need each other.

 

I think women should be open to hearing the viewpoints of men and trying to understand where they are coming from.

 

Sometimes, to us, it may sound like absolute gibberish.

 

But even when they lack understanding because they have not walked in the shoes of women, there is still value in listening.

 

Listening does not mean agreeing. It simply means trying to understand another perspective.

 

Being a feminist does not necessarily mean hating men.

It does not necessarily mean excluding the voices of men.

Especially good men.

 

Because the truth is there has been a very long gender war and I think it is crippling society on every level.

 

It is affecting men and women in the workplace.

It is affecting romance.

It is affecting friendship.

It is affecting families.

 

The fact is that we all need each other. Gender should not limit friendship. Gender should not limit connection. Because we are connection-starved as people.

 

We are starved of connection.

We are starved of interaction.

 

And sometimes friendship is one of the ways we begin finding our way back to each other.